No More Than 800

No more than 800
No more than 800
No more than 800...

I tell myself throughout the day. No more the 800. 

I did not have breakfast today, i told myself "i don't have time", during which i was in front of the mirror fixing my rebellious hair for 30 mins.

 I ask myself, "am i really that hungry?" Nope. "But that organic oatmeal, with wholesome almond milk, topped with blueberries and banana sure does look good!" As i start drooling over the delicious "food-orgasmic" breakfast i convince myself that i am stronger. "But if i eat the 300 calorie breakfast means i can only eat a 400 calorie lunch when i come back home, and then i need the spare 100 calories for when i start craving sweets!" 

I come home and the first thing i do is take my vitamins. I need a daily tablet of B-12 and another of B-complex (since i am a vegan it is crucial that i take these vitamins, as the B nutrients are rare to find in a daily diet of a non-meat eater). I dare not look at the calories of the pills. I heat up a lazy meal of what i call :"Vegan Ramen Noodle" which is just a healthier version of the famous quick lunch. Along with the soup i have 3 whole grain crackers on the side, and a cup 8 oz glass of Naked Green Machine vegetable juice (which i honestly think is not real organic vegetables because it taste too damn good). All combined, i consumed almost 500 calories. After the fullness sensation kicks in, so does the guilt. 

"Why did i have to grab the crackers? Why did i have to finish the whole soup? Why couldn't i just eat the soup and not the noodle? I could of just drank water!" Without the crackers and juice i could of easily saved 200 calories.... 200 too many calories. 

I started craving sweets. Thank God my mom bought dark chocolate raisins yesterday or i would of just made a Pb&j sandwich (which is another 400 calories!!). i only ate 4 raisins and the craving was gone thankfully. 

I'm worried about tonight's dinner, or if i'm even going to eat dinner.

Just 300 calories more...